Yara: The Critical Teen
by WildCardSpadeMode
Summary: Yara must complete 50 reviews on this website of all of the fandom she enjoys will be erased from existence. Later on gaining 2 of her crushes as sidekicks who both fight for who their fan likes more. Not a harem she will choose one. Will have a few swears here and there. Bashing will be involved.


**"Yara aka WildCardSpadeMode, you must make 50 reviews on this fan fiction website on anything you desire or else you will loose everything you love!" **says an ominous voice in said teenager's room full of Elvis Presley Memorabilia.

"So you're pretty much saying that I must play a Nostalgia Critic wannabe or else I'll loose all of my friends and family?" asks a teenage girl with tan skin, bright gray eyes, waist- length black wavy hair with a portion of her bang covering her left eye, and a dark blue streak in her hair.

**"Well... no but I will wipe out your favorite characters right out of existence!"** the ominous voice responded.

"Even the fan crushes?"Yara shouts with a surprised tone.

**"Especially the fan crushes."** the voice answers bluntly.

" You know, I need to refer to you with some sort of name."

**"Why?"**

" Because I can't constantly write "ominous voice" all the time right?"

**"Touché. ****You may refer to me as Cedric."**

"So Cedric, what should I review first?"

**"I recommend a comparison?"**

"I got it!"

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><p><span><strong>Later that day...<strong>

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><p>Our teenage main character was now dressed in a black fedora with a dark blue ribbon wrapped around it, a white dress shirt, a dark blue and black checkered tie that was loosely tied around her neck, a black pleated skirt, white long socks, and to finish the look she wore black high tops with shiny silver laces.<p>

"Hello readers, I am Yara the Critical Teen and for my first review I will make a comparison between two couples. And these two couples are Usagi/Seiya and Usagi/Marmoru!" after that being said it cuts to a scene of Sailor Star Fighter about to kick Tuxedo Mask in the face.

"Let me make one thing clear, I have respect for both fans of the couples but let me make it clear I have opinions. So nothing I say will ruin your perfect little fan world. But first thing is first It's Explaining Time!" afterwards there is an image of Prince Endymion and all three of the Sailor Starlights.

"Now to start with everybody's favorite hero... Sailor Star Fighter!" We begin with Sailor Star Fighter, Sailor Star Maker, and Sailor Star Healer loosing their home planet and the princess. All they know is that she is on Earth. So they of course head on to Earth. While on Earth the Starlights become men and become musical sensations to hope that one day their princess would hear their song. The three also end up going to Usagi's high school. Sailor Star Fighter now known as Seiya Kou is at first aiming to complete his mission, but he ends up falling for our "tsuki no usagi". He at first flirts with Usagi, but Usagi constantly rejects him because of her quote on quote "destiny". But what really got me is when he asked "Am I not good enough?". Why didn't she answer?! Simple: because while he made her way into her heart, she believes that she must stay with Mamo-baka... sorry not a fan, and must protect the future. If I were there I would do this...

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><p>"Hey Usagi, you don't have to stay with Marmoru if you don't want to."<p>

"But what about the future and Chibiusa?!"

"Simple my little moon bunny, THE FUTURE IS NOT SET IN STONE! Besides there are men out there who will love and respect you more than that no good Shepard prince er... whatever I can't think of a good insult at the moment."

"Really Yara?!"

"Yep."

"Oh Seiya, it turns out that you are good enough!"

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><p>"Now that I am done with the good stuff... now on to one I despise, Tuxedo Mask. Years ago he was Prince Endymion and Usagi was Princess Serenity. They were intensely in love with each other. When the Dark Kingdom attacked Endy-baka dies by deflecting an attack aimed at his supposed true love. After he dies Serenity uses his sword and commits suicide. Years later they are reborn as Marmoru Chiba and Usagi Tsukino. At first they hate each other, before the idiot gets captured by the enemy Queen Beryl. Usagi regains her memories and suffers because she had lost her loved one. Note the fact that I write loved one sarcastically. While in the manga I respected Marmoru, in the anime his behavior is inexcusable! He treated Usagi as a child, and the moment that pink spore creature known as Chibiusa... not a fan obviously. He treated that pink haired abomination better than Usagi. The same thing I said for Marmoru applies to Chibiusa, she was FAR more likeable in the manga than in the anime. Marmoru is in my own 9-year-old sister's words is "He is stupid, and he lacks a personality." He only loved Usagi just because she used to be Serenity. While Seiya on the other hand loves Usagi for well... just for being Usagi. I'm sorry to say Marmoru fans but Seiya for me was always a better contender than Marmo-baka anyday." with that being said Sailor Star Fighter successfully kicked Tuxedo Mask in the face and there was a ton of blood coming out his nose.<p>

"So in other words Seiya wins hands down in my book. Don't bash on me for liking him better than the cannon pairing, but its my opininon. And if you don't respect me...I will find out where you live and destroy you with a chainsaw in your sleep! Bye readers and see you all next time... next I will rank Ash's traveling companions from awesome to needing a visit from Doctor Chainsaw meaning me."

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><p><strong>"Not bad for your first review kid, but you are going to need a sidekick or to add some cast diversity."<strong> Cedric says as Yara finishes her review.

"I'll post a couple of adds in the fanfiction verse for some sidekicks later on..." says Yara as she grabs her phone and was about to listen to BaD eNd NiGhT by the Vocaloid 8 (meaning Miku, Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, Luka, Gumi, and the dreamy one in my opinion Gakupo)

**"Keep up the work and I might assist you on some reviews."**

"Ok... until the next chapter I'll get started on the auditions."

**"Good luck my critical teenager..." **after he said this he started to laugh maniacally.


End file.
